I noticed my-current-self is no longer the same with my-old-good-self. Well I earn more, live with good families, go forth and back to work with husband, have beautiful house (MasyaAllah, Alhamdulillah), but why then my-own-current-self is becoming more plain and boring and darker and less interesting?
And that triggers my stress alarm at highest level.
Firstly, it is because....
I have no jeans, that's how boring I am nowadays. I mean, I couldn't fit into my old jeans simply because I have gained weight (durhhhh). Not only jeans, but also all my good pieces of pants. All pants! Cannot buttoned, cannot zipped, cannot pulled up to the hip pon ada. Sedih okay.
What I still wear until today, are those maternity pants. (T________________T) Totally 200% l-o-o-s-e-r.
And skirts! Tq to the brainer that invented skirts. Makes my dull life one little step better.
My body feels pain almost 24/7. If not pain pon, lenguh2. And I'm 28 come on! Not 82! Not even 30 yet. But my body....... is really out of its alignment. I almost tripped on my own toes this morning. Luckily no one saw that eyesore moment.
I used to go to spa and did the body massaging, body scrubbing, those mind relaxing and endorphin release treatment. But for the past two years, zero! none! nil! adios amigos! Iols is sad.... My body is sad.... I need these special treatments back please.. I've been trying to do my own spa treatment at home, so I went hunting for all the needed products - body scrub, body lotion, body buttermilk, hair serum, etc. But I rarely get the chance to apply them generously. Usually when I got the time, I'll just do them cepat2. And not getting the as-good-results as I hope. So more frustration in myself.
No more window shopping time for me! Definition of shopping for me nowadays is either giant or speedmart. Beli groceries and diapers. Total sedih! My level of shopping has been simplified in so many ways that I do them using my fingertips - yes you got it right, online shopping. TQ technology. Save my soul. But still, I don't have confident to purchase pants online because of their designs and also there's so little choices for my size. Sobss.
I can ignore not doing window shopping because I am now focus to do more of the other works that is more important and of better benefit - being a wife, being a mom, being a daughter, being a sister, being an employee. That's how my logic thinking soothes my crazy lust. My 24hours just cannot accommodate to do 2 or 3 hours window shopping. Plus, it's window shopping! It's not even REAL shopping pon kan.... So, why make a fuss? Uhuhuhuuu...
Then I came out with a new strategy - towards a better me!
1. I'm sooooo going to shop for two jeans (one light color and another one dark color) when next pay comes in.
2. I'm sooooooo going to shop for two office pants (grey and black?) - also when next pay comes in.
3. I'm sooooo going to do spa treatment, at least body massage - also when next pay comes in.
4. All of the above involves money, so my fourth resolution would be, a weekly 30 minutes fat burn activities. Wear those sneakers back, and start working my a** off. FYI, I've already started this - yesterday. So happy so glad to spend time at the park in front of my house. :)
5. A controlled eating and sleeping pattern please. I should eat healthier foods, drink more plain water and always prepare for a good sleep - night facial regime, spray some perfumes, apply hair serum, put on good nightwear.
6. House should never be leaving in a mess, that's why a maid is to be hired by us. Can't wait for this Saturday! Hope that our bibik will be one good bibik, with kind tender heart to love Amina and good health to do basic house chores.
7. To always be punctual on time. Office time, and more importantly solat time.
That should be all for now. Let's see my new self after forty days! Till then, people. :)
Oh I forgot another super important note.
8. I'm soooooooooooooooooo going to buy those good looking lingeries. Saddening on how I could not even fit to my old precious bras and panties. What nursing bra, what? Good bye one thin layer nursing bra - not even support my enlarging b**bs. U're no longer required in service. :p I want to nurse my baby with style. Ohhhhoiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wuteva. Hahaha. (-__________-")